What “third culture kid” actually means

The idea of a “third culture” comes from the American sociologists Ruth Hill Useem and her husband John Useem. According to the American Overseas Schools Historical Society, the Useems introduced the concept in India, while studying Americans living and working there. They used “third culture” to describe the shared way of life created by people who live between societies as representatives of larger organisations such as governments, churches or businesses. Ruth Useem became especially interested in the children who accompanied those families abroad, and she called them TCKs.

The term reached a much wider audience through the book Third Culture Kids by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken. A third edition, co-written with Michael V. Pollock, was published by Nicholas Brealey Publishing in September 2017; its press release lists an updated explanation of unresolved grief among the changes. Van Reken’s own website describes TCKs, broadly, as children who grow up or spend a significant part of their childhood living outside their parents’ passport or home culture.

Put simply, the “first culture” is the parents’ home culture, the “second” is the country the family lives in now, and the “third” is the in-between world shared by other mobile families: international schools, airports, farewell parties, friends from ten countries. That third world can feel like home, yet it keeps changing as people come and go.

That last row matters. A label can be a comfort: it tells a child that others feel the same. But it should never become a reason to wave away worry that is getting in the way of school or friendships.

What research says about moving often in childhood

Most studies on moving house were not done on international families, so they can’t tell us exactly what happens to a TCK. But they do give a useful, sober picture of what frequent moves can mean for children in general.

A 2021 meta-analysis in the journal Health & Place by Simsek, Costa and de Valk combined 844 effect sizes from 64 studies published between 1989 and 2020. It found a small-to-medium negative association between childhood moves and health, with the strongest link for externalising behaviour (acting out rather than turning inward). Effects were larger for children who moved three or more times than for those who moved once or twice, and tended to show most in adolescence. Importantly, when studies accounted for other difficulties that often come with a move, such as parental separation or job loss, the link with moving itself was no longer statistically significant.

A large Danish national study by Webb, Pedersen and Mok, published in 2016 in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, followed more than 1.4 million people born in Denmark between 1971 and 1997. It found higher risks of a range of poor outcomes in adulthood among those who moved more often as children, and the risks were particularly marked when frequent moves happened in early to mid-adolescence.

What this means in practice: moving is not harmful in itself for most children, but how often, at what age, and what else is going on all matter. The number of moves is often decided by a job. The support around each move is something families can shape.

The school challenges TCKs commonly meet

School is where a move becomes real for a child. It is where they must find a seat at lunch, learn unwritten rules, and answer questions about who they are, usually all in the first week. Research and writing on TCKs return again and again to a handful of themes.

Academic gaps are the fourth, more practical challenge. Moving between curricula, countries and school calendars can leave a child having covered some topics twice and others not at all, or joining mid-year when classmates are already settled. For a child who is already anxious, feeling behind in class can confirm the fear that they don’t belong.

How anxiety can show up at school

Every child worries sometimes, and the NHS notes that many worries are a normal part of growing up. It also lists moving house and starting a new school among the changes that commonly make children anxious. For a TCK, both often happen at once, and more than once.

Anxiety does not always look like fear. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) notes that it can also make children irritable and angry, can include trouble sleeping and physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches or stomach-aches, and that some anxious children keep their worries to themselves, so the signs can be missed. The NHS adds that younger children may become tearful or clingy, while older children may avoid social activities or school, find it hard to concentrate, or have angry outbursts.

It is common for a child to hold it together all day and fall apart at home. That can make it confusing when teachers report that everything is fine. Both can be true: your child is coping at school, and the coping is costly.

If physical symptoms are frequent, it is worth checking with a doctor rather than assuming they are “just nerves”. Anxiety can cause real bodily symptoms, but so can other things.

The grief nobody names

One of the most useful ideas in TCK research is that the losses of a mobile childhood are often hidden. In a 2008 qualitative study in the journal Illness, Crisis & Loss, Kathleen R. Gilbert interviewed 43 TCKs. She found that their losses were often ambiguous and that their grief was frequently disenfranchised, meaning it was not recognised by others as real grief. Many losses related to people, places, pets and possessions, and some were deeper, such as losing a sense of safety, identity or home.

A 2022 position paper in the Journal of Research in International Education by Trethewy, Vanderburg and van den Akker made a similar point about schools. The authors argued that children relocating with their families may grieve for family, friends or possessions left behind, and called on international schools to account for this grief in their transition programmes.

When these losses are not acknowledged, a child may not connect their sadness to the move at all. What shows up instead is worry about the next school, anger at small things, or a reluctance to invest in new friends. Naming the loss out loud, for example “I think you really miss your old school, and that makes sense”, can be a relief.

Before the move: building a RAFT

A widely used way to help children leave well is known as building a RAFT. It is associated with David C. Pollock; Woodstock School in India, for example, explains that Pollock and Van Reken advise parents in Third Culture Kids to help children build a RAFT as a way to reach healthy closure. The letters stand for Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewells and Think destination.

RAFT is a framework, not a checklist to complete perfectly. Rushed moves happen, and some goodbyes can’t be said. Even doing part of it, for example one proper farewell and one realistic conversation about the new school, gives a child a sense of ending one chapter rather than being lifted out of it.

The Raising Children Network suggests discussing a school move well in advance, encouraging children to talk about, draw or list what they are worried about, keeping a contact list of friends from the old school, and visiting the new school’s grounds together if you can. For international moves, a virtual tour or photos of the classroom can stand in for a visit.

The first weeks and months at a new school

The Raising Children Network points out that most children and teenagers are adaptable and cope with a school move well, and suggests meeting the teacher within the first couple of weeks to check how things are going. For a child who has become anxious about moves, a few simple habits in those early weeks can make the difference between “surviving” and settling.

Practise the hard question. Help your child prepare a short, comfortable answer to “where are you from?”, such as “I’m half Australian, but I grew up in Singapore and Tokyo.” They can choose how much to share. Having words ready takes away some of the dread of the first introductions.

Don’t rush the friendships. Children who have said many goodbyes sometimes hold back, or attach very quickly to the first friendly face. Both are understandable. Clubs, sports and activities built around a shared interest often make friendships easier than open playground time.

Listen without fixing straight away. The NHS suggests listening carefully without dismissing a child’s worries, then working out solutions together. “What was the hardest bit of today?” often opens more than “How was school?”

When to seek professional help

Some worry after a move is expected. The question is whether it is fading or growing, and how much it is getting in the way. The NHS advises contacting a GP if a child’s anxiety is severe, persists and interferes with everyday life. The Raising Children Network suggests seeking help if anxiety stops a child from doing things they want to do, or interferes with friendships, play, schoolwork or family life. The CDC recommends that a first step is to talk with your child’s doctor or a mental health specialist about an evaluation.

Abroad, finding the right support can take effort. Good starting points are your child’s doctor, the school counsellor, and your employer’s or insurer’s assistance programme, which may be able to recommend clinicians who work in English or in your home language. Telehealth can sometimes let a child keep seeing the same professional across a move, but whether this is possible depends on local rules and the clinician, so ask.

Each move, a new school? Comparing the options

For many families the school decision is repeated with every posting. There is no single right choice, and the best one depends on your child, the length of the posting and what is available. What differs is which parts of school life stay the same when the family moves.

An online school takes away one kind of change, the classmates and teachers, but it does not replace local life. Children learning online still need in-person friendships, activities and time outdoors, and parents need to plan for supervision at home. Some families choose online school for a whole childhood abroad; others use it for a short period, such as a posting of a year or two, or while waiting for a place.

One option built for mobile families: NIJIN GLOBAL ACADEMY

NIJIN GLOBAL ACADEMY (NGA) is an online international school for ages 6–18, run by NIJIN, the company behind this site. We mention it because one part of its design speaks directly to the problem in this article: the class does not change when the family moves. Please read the limitations as carefully as the features.

Frequently asked questions

Sources used for this article

Fewer first days for a child who moves often

If your family relocates within Asia or Oceania, NIJIN GLOBAL ACADEMY offers live online classes of eight where the group and mentor can stay the same through a move. Tuition is yet to be announced; the school opens in September 2027.

Visit NIJIN GLOBAL ACADEMY